jcraynails

twloha:

“After the Storm”
Mumford & Sons

“On my knees and out of luck, I look up.”

A desperate plea. A realization that I can’t do it alone anymore. Choosing the possibility of something more. Something greater.

“Not this mind and not this heart, I won’t rot.”

Having the courage and the determination to not give in. Believing in myself and trusting that I matter. Knowing my own importance and that I fit into a role that was meant specifically for me. Perseverance through the things that try to tell me different.

“And I took you by the hand, and we stood tall and remembered our own land. What we lived for.”

Reaching out. Togetherness, shared secrets in the space between our hands. Remembering that we know how to be happy, and taking pride in the lives we have lived.

“And now I cling to what I knew. I saw exactly what was true.”

This song tells a story. It’s your story and mine. A story of losing faith, of feeling so lost that it’s hard to know if being found is possible.

It’s also a story of redemption.

Of trusting yourself to take control of your life and surround yourself with a community, even if it’s only one person, that you can rely on and can rely on you as well.

“And there will come a time, you’ll see, with no my tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.”

And then, it’s a story of hope.

Hope is an idea that I’ve struggled with for a long time. I resigned myself believing there was no hope for me and that I had to accept my lot in life. It was easier that way, but I didn’t realize what I was missing out on by giving up. Until my life fell apart. As I struggled to pick up the pieces and put them back together, I found the tiniest hope among the wreckage.

“Get over your hill and see what you find there. With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.”

It was strange and unfamiliar, but I I was drawn to it. That hope then turned into a dream that turned into a vision. In that vision, I was happy. I was surrounded by people I loved and who loved me in return. My soul was filled to the brim with contentedness and joy. I started to believe the vision could be true. In a singular moment I not only knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this vision was possible, but also exactly what I had to do to make it a reality. I had to choose.

While I have a new found confidence in my ability to lead a meaningful life, there still are, and always will be, days where I find my faith in myself wavering, or where I stray from the path I’m forging for myself. On those days I can turn to this song to remind me not to lose hope. The tears will dry, the heartbreaks prepare me for what comes next, and every hill that stands in my way serves as a landmark on the road to a place where even the smallest hope can become the realest of things.

—Jesse
Spring 2012 Intern